Remember when you could finish a hot cup of tea, read more than two pages of a book without interruption, or (gasp!) take a shower without an audience?
If, since becoming a mum, you’ve ever wondered, “Who am I outside of being someone’s mother?”, then you are most definitely not alone.
Centre of Perinatal Excellence (COPE) website explains that “Parenting is hard work,” and that new parents may find themselves “constantly putting the needs of others first, while [their] own needs and priorities can fall to the bottom of the list”
(Read more about looking after yourself during early parenthood here.)
When I had my first baby, I felt like I stepped onto a merry-go-round that never stopped.
Between feeds, nappy changes, settling and the mental load of keeping a tiny and precious human alive, there was little left of me at the end of each day.
Forgotten hobbies. Unread books piling up. Friends wondering if you’ve fallen off the face of the earth.
Revisiting forgotten hobbies can help you find YOU again during motherhood
It’s not selfish to miss these parts of yourself. In fact, reconnecting with your identity beyond motherhood is necessary for your wellbeing.
5 ways to reclaim snippets me-time as a mum
- Micro-moments matter – Even 10 minutes of reading, stretching, or journaling can reconnect you with yourself. What if you aim to reach for a book that’s been on your t0-read list this week, rather than your phone?
- Combine ‘me time’ with mundane tasks – Listen to your favorite podcast during the school run or while folding laundry. You can see a list of our favourite podcasts HERE.
- Lower your standards (temporarily) – Sometimes a messier house is worth the sanity saved. This doesn’t have to be forever, it can just be for today, or this week – so you can take the time you need to invest in yourself right now.
- Trade time with other parents – Watch their child for an hour this week, they’ll do the same for you next week. If your little one is very young, you can do this in your own home. Have them come to you so you can enjoy a shower and a cup of tea, or a walk around the block on your own.
- Include your child in modified versions of what you love – If you enjoyed hiking, try a shorter trail with a carrier. What are some modified activities that you could enjoy right now?
A mum in our community recently shared that she reclaimed her love of painting by setting up a small corner in her lounge room. Rather than waiting for the perfect two-hour block (which would never happen at this life-stage!), she grabs 15 minutes here and there while her toddler plays nearby. She says that her art has changed—it’s quicker, more spontaneous, and rarely ‘finished’—but she feels more like herself again.
What part of your pre-baby identity are you missing most? What’s one small step you could take this week to reconnect with that part of yourself? Let us know in the comments.
Remember: taking care of yourself isn’t take from your child—it can show them what a happy, healthy person looks like.
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